The Vicious Circle of Clutter

Have you ever looked around your home and thought that you have too much
stuff or clutter? I think about it quite often. The more that I travel
the path to a more simple life, I am seeing things more clearly for what
they are. Let's face it. The attitude of "he with the most toys wins"
is alive and strong. It plays on the selfish side of our human
nature. We see something that others are buying and suddenly this
thing becomes important. Why? We have survived life all these years
without having that item. Why it is suddenly a critical thing for us to
purchase? Thus the trap. We get caught up in greed.

In the Bible, there are numerous passages that address this attitude.
In the 10 Commandments we are told not to covet what our neighbors
have. Christ spoke of our needing to not seek the treasures of the
world. Yet, if we allow our human nature to have control, the things of
the world seem much more desirable to seek after.

Of course, we all have our ways of justifying our stuff. We convince
ourselves that we worked hard and deserve the stuff. Or we allow others
to convince us that we MUST buy the things in order to be happy or even
socially acceptable. We have all seen or experienced the social
"cliques" who determine your worthiness by what kind of car you drive,
the value of your home, etc. At what point did we allow others to
decide whether or not we are acceptable? Who are they that their
opinion is worth so much? There is a vicious circle in this seeking the
approval of society. You can buy the newest stuff but as soon as
someone gets something newer than yours, you have to upgrade what you have.

When did we give others the power to decide how far into debt we must
go? Keeping up appearances to remain "worthy" in our neighbors' eyes is
not cheap. How much of your income are you willing to throw away? How
much stress are you willing to put yourself and family through in trying
to make credit or loan payments just to please others? When you think
of all the money you spend trying to keep up, what could you have done
to improve your family's financial security if that money had been saved?

I am not totally against people buying nice things. I admit to being a
bit of a snob myself towards certain brands. The point is, what is the
reason behind it? Are you a slave to designer brands or are you simply
paying a little more for a better quality of product to avoid the waste
of having to constantly replace a cheaper one? It comes down to the
mindset and your overall goals. Are you being a good steward of the
resources the Lord has blessed you with? Are you using them to bless
your family and others in a way that shows God's love? Or are you
squandering the resources to please man?

Clutter. In the home it can be a testament or a judgment of your
stewardship of what the Lord has given you. I am realizing that I need
to show a better stewardship. Purge the home of what doesn't bless the
family and hopefully allow it to bless others through donating it to
charity. Then be a better steward in the care of the home and what
remains within it, not allowing the clutter to happen again. I don't
like knowing that in keeping the truly unnecessary things, I am in a
form of slavery in having to maintain those things. In that slavery,
I'm having to spend more time in maintaining the stuff instead of being
able to spend the time doing things with and for my family. I pray that
the Lord will guide me in this process. That He will teach me the
difference between what is His idea of necessity and what is simply
man's idea of necessity or wants.

Are You Listening to Me?

"Are you listening to me?" How many times have we heard ourselves say
these words to our children? We have all done it at one time or
another. We are talking to our child or giving them instruction and
they get that glazed-eyes look and you know that they have tuned you
out. So, we are reduced to asking, "Are you listening to me?"

It is frustrating to be a parent some days. Picture this scene in your
mind. You are talking to your child about something that you find very
important to instruct them on. Maybe it is how to avoid a bad situation
with a school mate. As you talk to them, you notice that they are not
paying attention. The expression on their face is more than enough to
tell you that they are in another world, not hearing what you have to
say. As parents, we try to get their attention back but they just don't
stay focused. We worry about it because we know that if they don't
listen, then they risk having more problems that would have been
prevented otherwise. So we ask, "Are you listening to me?"

I wonder. How many times has the Lord tried to get our attention or
give us instruction only to have us "tune Him out?" Reading His word
and being prayerful, we can learn His will and how to avoid being
wrapped up in the worldly attitudes. When we read the Bible, it is
though He is speaking to our hearts. When we are prayerful, the Holy
Spirit guides us to help us avoid the pitfalls of life. Do we hear
Him? Do we truly listen? The Lord is a patient Father who will give us
knowledge to navigate through life in such a way as to allow us to
return to Him when our time in this life is through. He is whispering
and gently nudging us. Do we take notice or are we too wrapped up in
our own "rightness" to hear words of instruction? When He speaks to
your heart, do you hold the words close and follow their guidance? Or
is the Lord asking us, "Are you listening to Me?"

Tea Time with Abbie

It is hard to be the sister of an autistic little brother.  There are often times when Micah needs more attention just because of his particular needs at that moment.  At 3 yrs of age, he is still 2 yrs behind in many areas of his development and is unable to do things that a 12 month old can do, such as feed himself finger foods.  Though a preschooler in age, he is more like an infant in some ways.  Between helping him with his basic needs and doing therapy activities with him to help him learn and develop the skills he is missing, I am also tending the home and homeschooling Abbie. 

Abbie has always been a content and quiet child.  She is happy and enjoys the moment much of the time.  Because she is so content, I have to watch closely that she is not overlooked and is given the individual attention that all children need.  In many ways, I feel that the siblings of a special needs child have a greater need for individual attention than a sibling of a typical child does.  Try to see it from their perspective.  The special needs child is catered to and can get the parents' attention on them very fast,  How often does a parent drop everything they are doing to go to the aid of their special needs child?  Yes, we should be there to give necessary assistance, but to a typical child, this can cause feelings of jealousy or a sense of being left out.  We expect the typical child to adapt and be compassionate to their sibling's need of our seemingly constant attention.  For a young child, this can be very difficult.

Abbie is great with Micah.  She adores him and watches over him as they play.  When playing together, she is often playing near him as he walks in circles around or beside her.  Many times, she can even get him to stop and touch her toys or otherwise engage him in play.  She is realizing that Micah is different, but it doesn't bother her.  He is simply Micah.  I love seeing their relationship.  It is obvious that they love each other.  Micah will often go to her when she is sitting on the floor and simply play with her hair.  They are a blessing and a gift to watch.  That being said however, I don't want to ever have her feel that my time spent with Micah is more precious to me than my time with her.  I don't ever want her to begin to feel left out because of the time I spend working on therapy activities or tending to Micah's basic needs.  So I thought of a special activity just for Abbie and I.

Abbie saw a kids' magazine, Yum Food & Fun for Kids, with a picture of a child's tea party fashioned after the Alice in Wonderland story.  Along with the pictures were a few recipes.  She became very excited and wanted to have a tea party.  This inspired me to the idea of having an afternoon tea with Abbie while Micah is napping each day.  She loves the idea.  So, I am going to find a couple of pretty, dainty tea cups with saucers for us to use.  Then plan on having a tea party with little sandwiches and a treat.  It will be our special time together.

Another way that I am going to have the one-on-one time with her is when we work on her Keeper of the Faith program.  The program falls mainly under the Life Skills heading in our homeschooling.  Some of the skills she has asked to do are cooking & baking with me, learning basic hand sewing, painting, and scrapbooking.  These are all things that we will be doing together.

I am looking forward to having a special time set aside for Abbie.  She is a joy and a lot of fun to do things with.  I am also looking forward to making a new tradition as well as memories with her.

Are You Listening to Me?

"Are you listening to me?" How many times have we heard ourselves say
these words to our children? We have all done it at one time or
another. We are talking to our child or giving them instruction and
they get that glazed-eyes look and you know that they have tuned you
out. So, we are reduced to asking, "Are you listening to me?"

It is frustrating to be a parent some days. Picture this scene in your
mind. You are talking to your child about something that you find very
important to instruct them on. Maybe it is how to avoid a bad situation
with a school mate. As you talk to them, you notice that they are not
paying attention. The expression on their face is more than enough to
tell you that they are in another world, not hearing what you have to
say. As parents, we try to get their attention back but they just don't
stay focused. We worry about it because we know that if they don't
listen, then they risk having more problems that would have been
prevented otherwise. So we ask, "Are you listening to me?"

I wonder. How many times has the Lord tried to get our attention or
give us instruction only to have us "tune Him out?" Reading His word
and being prayerful, we can learn His will and how to avoid being
wrapped up in the worldly attitudes. When we read the Bible, it is
though He is speaking to our hearts. When we are prayerful, the Holy
Spirit guides us to help us avoid the pitfalls of life. Do we hear
Him? Do we truly listen? The Lord is a patient Father who will give us
knowledge to navigate through life in such a way as to allow us to
return to Him when our time in this life is through. He is whispering
and gently nudging us. Do we take notice or are we too wrapped up in
our own "rightness" to hear words of instruction? When He speaks to
your heart, do you hold the words close and follow their guidance? Or
is the Lord asking us, "Are you listening to Me?"

Tea Time with Abbie

It is hard to be the sister of an autistic little brother.  There are often times when Micah needs more attention just because of his particular needs at that moment.  At 3 yrs of age, he is still 2 yrs behind in many areas of his development and is unable to do things that a 12 month old can do, such as feed himself finger foods.  Though a preschooler in age, he is more like an infant in some ways.  Between helping him with his basic needs and doing therapy activities with him to help him learn and develop the skills he is missing, I am also tending the home and homeschooling Abbie. 

Abbie has always been a content and quiet child.  She is happy and enjoys the moment much of the time.  Because she is so content, I have to watch closely that she is not overlooked and is given the individual attention that all children need.  In many ways, I feel that the siblings of a special needs child have a greater need for individual attention than a sibling of a typical child does.  Try to see it from their perspective.  The special needs child is catered to and can get the parents' attention on them very fast,  How often does a parent drop everything they are doing to go to the aid of their special needs child?  Yes, we should be there to give necessary assistance, but to a typical child, this can cause feelings of jealousy or a sense of being left out.  We expect the typical child to adapt and be compassionate to their sibling's need of our seemingly constant attention.  For a young child, this can be very difficult.

Abbie is great with Micah.  She adores him and watches over him as they play.  When playing together, she is often playing near him as he walks in circles around or beside her.  Many times, she can even get him to stop and touch her toys or otherwise engage him in play.  She is realizing that Micah is different, but it doesn't bother her.  He is simply Micah.  I love seeing their relationship.  It is obvious that they love each other.  Micah will often go to her when she is sitting on the floor and simply play with her hair.  They are a blessing and a gift to watch.  That being said however, I don't want to ever have her feel that my time spent with Micah is more precious to me than my time with her.  I don't ever want her to begin to feel left out because of the time I spend working on therapy activities or tending to Micah's basic needs.  So I thought of a special activity just for Abbie and I.

Abbie saw a kids' magazine, Yum Food & Fun for Kids, with a picture of a child's tea party fashioned after the Alice in Wonderland story.  Along with the pictures were a few recipes.  She became very excited and wanted to have a tea party.  This inspired me to the idea of having an afternoon tea with Abbie while Micah is napping each day.  She loves the idea.  So, I am going to find a couple of pretty, dainty tea cups with saucers for us to use.  Then plan on having a tea party with little sandwiches and a treat.  It will be our special time together.

Another way that I am going to have the one-on-one time with her is when we work on her Keeper of the Faith program.  The program falls mainly under the Life Skills heading in our homeschooling.  Some of the skills she has asked to do are cooking & baking with me, learning basic hand sewing, painting, and scrapbooking.  These are all things that we will be doing together.

I am looking forward to having a special time set aside for Abbie.  She is a joy and a lot of fun to do things with.  I am also looking forward to making a new tradition as well as memories with her.

Let's Get Realistic

Recently, Joe and I began realizing just how much we were getting over
our heads with the homestead dreams. The biggest obstacle is that we
were following "our" dreams and not listening to the Lord's guidance.
The end result is that our homestead is not being blessed in our
efforts. So, we are taking a step back and re-evaluating. Yes, it
would be wonderful to raise all of our own food and have livestock
again. The question is, would that fall in line with the Lord's plan
for our family? For now, we are stopping our plans. We will maintain
what we have, but do nothing more or add anything new.

The fact is, with Joe on the road, it is all too much for me to handle
on my own. My oldest daughter's family lives with us, but they are
unable to take over as much as we would need. My daughter is expecting
a little one in 2 months and is homeschooling their 5 yr old son. My
son-in-law has a new job along with other responsibilities. They are
just too busy or otherwise occupied.

Living without the conveniences of electricity, the tasks that need to
be done each day are more labor intensive. Yes, it can be done but it
does take much more work. Add in homeschooling our 5 yr old daughter
and a special needs 3 yr old and I have a full day. I can easily see
where it was so important that farm families had the entire family at
home. The menfolk had to be there to do the outside work and tend the
livestock. Even among many Amish families, it is common that a young
mother would have a young single woman (often a relative) come to live
with them and help with the tending of the children and/or household
duties.

One factor we are looking at is that my chronic pain is returning. I am
having more bad days with it than I used to. Yes, it is in part to
being 48 yrs old and having a more physical life than many do. Whatever
the cause, the end result is that I can't do it all on my own anymore.
So, reality steps in and kicks me in the backside from time to time.

For me, the priority is always the care and well being of our children.
Homeschooling them is a joy and a challenge. I am finding that while
Abbie is becoming more independent with her homeschooling, Micah is very
high maintenance. I love homeschooling them and watching as they learn
new things. I am seeing that the time I would have spent in the large
garden or with livestock is better spent in raising and teaching our
children.

We are now praying for the Lord's guidance in what He has in mind for
our family. He blessed us with this property and now we need to learn
what His plan is for how we are to use it.